Woah... I nearly got caught on my comp last night! After being booted off the internet computer because of the thunderstorm (Dad's computer gets to stay on of course) I went to my room, and my brain goes "Hey, you're bored. Play on your computer. Do it. NOW." So following commands as I do, I hopped on, stared at the screen and thought to myself "Which of the 138 games should I play tonight?" I ended up deciding to play Secret of Monkey Island for the 8th time. I got halfway through then got bored, and decided to try the usually dementurficated Day of the Tentacle, but surprisingly it worked. I had been trying to work out what I was supposed to use the dissappearing ink and the faux skunk for, when it locked up, and I had to hit the keys of evilness: Ctrl+alt+del. Once again boredom poked my small brain, and once again I decided to finish off Monkey Island. But instead of going into the GAME... well, as you people probably know, some computers have PC speakers, which you cannot turn off (the ones that make a loud beeping noise) and DOTT had obviously screwed up the computer. (damnit, shoulda re-booted) and the PC speaker went beeping like mad! It took me too long to react and when I turned it off, I sat in silence for 30 seconds, and surely enough, I heard mum and dad talking about what that noise was. I climbed carefully into bed, making sure I didn't make the 'getting into bed' noise. It was so lucky the parents didn't open the door. (I complained to mum for 'waking me up' to see if I was asleep the previous night. Phew.

Tonight I had a weird-ass dream... it was kinda like the ring or something. I was dead... well, sort of. I was at this carnival thing trying to find a guy to help me with my computer, and there was this room with an old fat guy in green sparkly hot-pants, and all these sluts. (He looked like the super-hero out of the video for Kryptonite by 3 Doors down) It was some sort of performance to show people what they would get if they signed up. The old guy fell asleep, so the girls just started... well, whatever they were going to do (I don't want to know) Luckily I didn't have to watch, coz I found the guy I was looking for. He looked like a barkeeper or something, but he said something weird: "You're not exactly dead, that's why people can still see you, but you're stuck, and sooner or later, you are going to have to finish it." Then it went to a flashback of how I 'died' the first time. I was in the park, and there were men in suits holding wat looked like a bucket of guts, and a large container of MM's, except shaped like raindrops. There was a line of people, and we had to pass them one by one down the line, but whoever did this wrong, was the devil. The guy next to me was a jerk, and wouldn't take my MM's I was trying to pass, and the lady who owned the home I boarded in noticed I had 2 at once! The men in suits said I had to eat the guts, but I ran away through this hedge thing. It was suddenly night time, and Allysa Milano (out of Charmed) was waiting for me in a tracksuit... she kept doing all these karate moved to trap me, but I got back to the bed I used at the home. I looked back and she was still chasing me, so I jumped on my matress, and it fell through to this other room. I landed on the floor and rolled across the slanted floor and hit the wall really hard. The flashback finished, and I was at home. I realised to finish the game I would have to drown myself in hot water (Seriously, don't ask. I don't know why the hell that happened) I told mum I was going out. She asked where and I once again just said 'out'. I went into town (I think I was enjoying the time I had left) and mysteriously ended up back at the carnival, and the guy in hot pants was still asleep, but now people who had signed up were in the room. Some guy made me go in, and the old guy woke up and got on top of me, but then I pushed him off, and he fell asleep again. I got out and mum was standing there, and she said "One day you'll meet someone you want to do it with" We walked down a dirt track to this valley with rotting wooden buildings. Mum started shrieking and saying she didn't want to go back there ever again. Then I realised that was where I died the first time (Look, I don't know whether I died and came back, or whether I am half dead, or a ghost or whatever) I made mum come down with me, and there was this guy who had the same thing happen. I had forgotten about the drowning thing, but he told me again. We had to search for a pool of hot water. I found it behind the building where I died, and decided to test it while the guy watched. I jumped in, and filled my mouth with hot water. I got out again, and the guy said it should take two minutes, and all I have to do is keep swallowing water. Thankfully, I woke up.

I have the weirdest dreams. I guess it's because of how much I use the computer. These holidays, I haven't done ANY excercise. Just walking to the fridge. I have gained a lot of weight, and I look really gross. (Like the pirate who drank to much grog.) That, plus I have bad breath. I blame it on those darn teddies and their chocolatey evilness. RAWR. My breath makes Guybrush pass out all the time. Observe:

(Yes, he is wearing a pink dress) Gawd I play Monkey Island waaaaayyyyy too much. Here is my list of times I have completed each episode... except 4, which I don't have.

Oh, and I completed the CoMI demo around 50, just to hear Wally's voice. Pathetic.

Here, in my opinion, are THE SECRETS OF MONKEY ISLAND!

Wally ENJOYS been chained up! Look at his grin!

Guybrush LOVES giving wedgies... so he can KEEP THE UNDERWEAR!

Guybrush never had SEX-ED LESSONS!

Guybrush gets turned on by MIDGETS who are really NAKED UNDER THE TABLE!

Ok, let's keep our heads for a moment, but this is all I have to blab about today, and chances are, you didn't REALLY read it, just flitted through for the words: 'Sex, orgy or Asian midget foot porn'. Now I suggest you go buy me some Grog-O-Mints, or a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle, COZ THIS IS THE END OF THIS ENTRY.

*teleports to Woodtick to see little Wally who left the crew to get back to map-making*